Choosing A Trach Life
Most often in trach life a parent has a story of how their child came to need a trach and the adjustment that ensued thereafter for their entire family. Our story is a little different. For us, we chose a trach life. Really, though, we chose a life. The trach was part of the package, though.
On the weekend of my 35th birthday, I received a text from our social worker that said “baby girl, micropreemie, cpap, are you interested?” I talked briefly with my husband to see whether a cpap was something we would be willing to consider. He agreed to find out more, and I made the phone call that changed the course of our lives forever.
Let me introduce you to our family, our lives, and our purpose for doing what we do. My name is Meredith, and I’m a 36 year old wife, mother, homeschool teacher, friend, advocate, and kisser of all boo boos. My husband, Michael, and I married at 19 and 20 years old. Three years later we had a son, and 2 years after that we had a daughter. At 2 months old our daughter was diagnosed with a non-rare, non-life threatening chromosomal condition that rocked our worlds in a hard way and then in an amazing way. Our daughter had open heart surgery at 5 months old because of an associated condition and then she grew and achieved goals and developmental milestones at an amazing rate, growing and changing before our eyes.
Our lives could have gone on from that day in the same typical progression that they had been headed, but instead, the diagnosis of Down syndrome changed our path. That diagnosis was the catalyst that God used to lead us to recognize there was a high need for children with significant special needs to be ADOPTED. When our daughter was 2 years old we brought home two more children with Down syndrome from Ukraine. Over the 7 years after that adoption we had a biological baby, adopted a child with Down syndrome from foster care, adopted 2 more children- one with Down syndrome and one with cerebral palsy- from Ukraine, had another biological baby, adopted a child with Down syndrome from a foreign adoption disruption, and then had our 5th biological baby. Our lives were wrapped up in the love of Jesus for these children who He was leading us to who had no parents, no future, and no hope.
In January of 2016, with a 14 month old baby on my hip, I called the attorney that my social worker had sent me to, and I said “please, tell me about the baby you need a family for.” The first words out of her mouth drew me aback. “Tracheostomy.” “Ventilator.” Wow. Yikes. How could we do THAT?
I listened and tried to hear, but my mind was stuck on the idea that this baby had a trach. My husband would NEVER go for that! Not only that, but we had 11 children. How could we take care of a baby with a trach while effectively parenting all of our other children? After all of the information was given to me, I was honest with the attorney and I said I was really unsure. I needed a day to pray, talk to my husband, and see whether this was something we could pursue. I hung up the phone with a sense of longing. I talked to my husband and somehow, he didn’t shut the idea down. I called the attorney back. “Can we come meet her tomorrow?” And that was the beginning.
After driving 3 hours and spending some time with this 5 month old baby girl, both Michael and I knew that the trach, this medical piece, was a TINY part of the sweet baby we’d met. We knew we would either feel overwhelmed by the trach, or overwhelmed by love. For us, it was love. This was a baby who needed to live outside of a hospital. She needed a family. We could be that. Her care, though scary and serious and consuming, was not overwhelming like we were expecting.
Over the next 24 hours we prayed and asked our agency to also seek God. In all honesty, part of our prayer was to take this from us! We were busy, we were tired, but we knew for US it would be a YES. We asked God to have the agency tell us “no” if this baby was not to be ours. Our agency workers called us on Monday morning before our kids were even down to the breakfast table and asked if we had talked. They were sure the Lord had laid it on their hearts that this baby was to be ours. Tearfully, I agreed to the same.
Fast forward a little bit, and our sweet Nya’s adoption was finalized a year ago this month! She just now turned 2 years old and is an amazing little blessing. There have been scary moments, and there are definitely times where it’s difficult to have a big family- like hospital stays and sicknesses. All in all, though, our sweet Nya has shown us that having a big family means she has lots of siblings to play with, to learn from, to encourage her, and to learn FROM her. We’ve had another biological baby and he’s now 9 months old. As he pulls up on the outside of the playpen, Nya pulls up on the inside. Our 12 year old with Down syndrome and many other significant needs joins in and claps with both of the ‘babies.’ Our 3 year old climbs into the playpen with baby dolls and a tea set. Our 9 year old calls out to Nya and says “say Mama!” until her mouth can mimic and Nya tries to push her voice through to make some sound. Our 14 year old suctions her trach as I’m changing a diaper next to them, and he smiles and plays with her all the while. Our 6 year old sings her songs from the theater class she’s taking and Nya bounces along with her. Our 15 year old snuggles her on her lap while we take a family photo. Our 13 year old rolls over to be near her because he isn’t able to sit up on his own, but he enjoys her company down by him. Nobody has to be asked to “please sacrifice your time for your siblings.” No, our children LOVE to have a big family with diversity in all of their needs and their abilities and their gifts. ALL of our children have benefitted from one another’s differences.
We didn’t know that we could handle trach life, but we knew that we could handle whatever life God led us in to. We didn’t just get handed this. We chose to live a trach life. Really, though, we chose to Love a life, and that life happens to have a trach.
Meredith Cornish
Follow our family journey on Facebook: www.facebook.com/thecornishfamily
Most often in trach life a parent has a story of how their child came to need a trach and the adjustment that ensued thereafter for their entire family. Our story is a little different. For us, we chose a trach life. Really, though, we chose a life. The trach was part of the package, though.
On the weekend of my 35th birthday, I received a text from our social worker that said “baby girl, micropreemie, cpap, are you interested?” I talked briefly with my husband to see whether a cpap was something we would be willing to consider. He agreed to find out more, and I made the phone call that changed the course of our lives forever.
Let me introduce you to our family, our lives, and our purpose for doing what we do. My name is Meredith, and I’m a 36 year old wife, mother, homeschool teacher, friend, advocate, and kisser of all boo boos. My husband, Michael, and I married at 19 and 20 years old. Three years later we had a son, and 2 years after that we had a daughter. At 2 months old our daughter was diagnosed with a non-rare, non-life threatening chromosomal condition that rocked our worlds in a hard way and then in an amazing way. Our daughter had open heart surgery at 5 months old because of an associated condition and then she grew and achieved goals and developmental milestones at an amazing rate, growing and changing before our eyes.
Our lives could have gone on from that day in the same typical progression that they had been headed, but instead, the diagnosis of Down syndrome changed our path. That diagnosis was the catalyst that God used to lead us to recognize there was a high need for children with significant special needs to be ADOPTED. When our daughter was 2 years old we brought home two more children with Down syndrome from Ukraine. Over the 7 years after that adoption we had a biological baby, adopted a child with Down syndrome from foster care, adopted 2 more children- one with Down syndrome and one with cerebral palsy- from Ukraine, had another biological baby, adopted a child with Down syndrome from a foreign adoption disruption, and then had our 5th biological baby. Our lives were wrapped up in the love of Jesus for these children who He was leading us to who had no parents, no future, and no hope.
In January of 2016, with a 14 month old baby on my hip, I called the attorney that my social worker had sent me to, and I said “please, tell me about the baby you need a family for.” The first words out of her mouth drew me aback. “Tracheostomy.” “Ventilator.” Wow. Yikes. How could we do THAT?
I listened and tried to hear, but my mind was stuck on the idea that this baby had a trach. My husband would NEVER go for that! Not only that, but we had 11 children. How could we take care of a baby with a trach while effectively parenting all of our other children? After all of the information was given to me, I was honest with the attorney and I said I was really unsure. I needed a day to pray, talk to my husband, and see whether this was something we could pursue. I hung up the phone with a sense of longing. I talked to my husband and somehow, he didn’t shut the idea down. I called the attorney back. “Can we come meet her tomorrow?” And that was the beginning.
After driving 3 hours and spending some time with this 5 month old baby girl, both Michael and I knew that the trach, this medical piece, was a TINY part of the sweet baby we’d met. We knew we would either feel overwhelmed by the trach, or overwhelmed by love. For us, it was love. This was a baby who needed to live outside of a hospital. She needed a family. We could be that. Her care, though scary and serious and consuming, was not overwhelming like we were expecting.
Over the next 24 hours we prayed and asked our agency to also seek God. In all honesty, part of our prayer was to take this from us! We were busy, we were tired, but we knew for US it would be a YES. We asked God to have the agency tell us “no” if this baby was not to be ours. Our agency workers called us on Monday morning before our kids were even down to the breakfast table and asked if we had talked. They were sure the Lord had laid it on their hearts that this baby was to be ours. Tearfully, I agreed to the same.
Fast forward a little bit, and our sweet Nya’s adoption was finalized a year ago this month! She just now turned 2 years old and is an amazing little blessing. There have been scary moments, and there are definitely times where it’s difficult to have a big family- like hospital stays and sicknesses. All in all, though, our sweet Nya has shown us that having a big family means she has lots of siblings to play with, to learn from, to encourage her, and to learn FROM her. We’ve had another biological baby and he’s now 9 months old. As he pulls up on the outside of the playpen, Nya pulls up on the inside. Our 12 year old with Down syndrome and many other significant needs joins in and claps with both of the ‘babies.’ Our 3 year old climbs into the playpen with baby dolls and a tea set. Our 9 year old calls out to Nya and says “say Mama!” until her mouth can mimic and Nya tries to push her voice through to make some sound. Our 14 year old suctions her trach as I’m changing a diaper next to them, and he smiles and plays with her all the while. Our 6 year old sings her songs from the theater class she’s taking and Nya bounces along with her. Our 15 year old snuggles her on her lap while we take a family photo. Our 13 year old rolls over to be near her because he isn’t able to sit up on his own, but he enjoys her company down by him. Nobody has to be asked to “please sacrifice your time for your siblings.” No, our children LOVE to have a big family with diversity in all of their needs and their abilities and their gifts. ALL of our children have benefitted from one another’s differences.
We didn’t know that we could handle trach life, but we knew that we could handle whatever life God led us in to. We didn’t just get handed this. We chose to live a trach life. Really, though, we chose to Love a life, and that life happens to have a trach.
Meredith Cornish
Follow our family journey on Facebook: www.facebook.com/thecornishfamily
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