When you do things for a long period of time, you get into a routine or pattern like you are coating through it. But that can change within a matter of minutes. This can happen a lot while living the Trach life. You think you are past the scary moments of seeing your child struggling to breath for one reason or another and then at any moment they decide to throw you a curve ball just to make sure you are paying attention. It’s like they don’t want you to get to comfortable with a routine or with life itself. They like to give us reminders that even though they can be stable and able to do things on their own, that can all change in a second. Today I was reminded how quickly circumstances can change and just how precious life really is.
My daughter is 10 years old and has had her Trach since she was 3 weeks old. She has been fairly stable most of her life with the exception of a few illnesses/viruses along the way and that of course is just part of Trach life. There are always big and small set backs that occur, as well as times when you are “coasting” through life with your own routines. It is important to do things within the Trach life that work best for you and your trachie. Just like everyone else we have certain ways that we do things because that’s just what works best for my daughter.
Today after giving her a shower, we were doing our usual routine of changing her Trach, g-Tube care, getting dressed, and all that fun stuff. While I was changing her Trach, she was playing around, covering her stoma with her chin and blowing air out of it. We were laughing and being silly, then in a split second everything changed. She began to struggle to breath and coughing. After several tries, she coughed out a plug (mucus chunk that blocks the airway) larger than she has ever had in her entire life. In those moments, the smiles and laughter melted instantly. The silliness turned into shock. She recovered quickly and was back to her playful self within a few short minutes. I, however, was not. All of the fear and anxiety that use to haunt me in the beginning of this Trach journey came rushing back. I know that the circumstances could have been dramatically different. Although I never really thought we were completely “out of the woods” from the dangers of plugs and other issues that come with the Trach, it wasn’t something I worried about as much as I did in the beginning.i mean we have been living the Trach life for 10 years, we’ve got this... until that moment when you get hit with a ton of bricks that stop you in your tracks.
When something like this happens, after the shock wears off, you reflect back to those moments of struggle and fear. You think about the “what if’s” and the almosts. You think about what you could have done differently. You think about if you had done something different would the outcome have been good or bad. The hours and days after an episode like this can be pure torture for some parents. Yes, I am happy that my daughter is good, but that doesn’t stop my mind... my thoughts continue to go back to those few terrifying moments trying to analyze and break down each second, not to dwell on it... but instead to figure out what I can do better if this should happen again.
~Tonya
Founder
Moms of Trach Babies
My daughter is 10 years old and has had her Trach since she was 3 weeks old. She has been fairly stable most of her life with the exception of a few illnesses/viruses along the way and that of course is just part of Trach life. There are always big and small set backs that occur, as well as times when you are “coasting” through life with your own routines. It is important to do things within the Trach life that work best for you and your trachie. Just like everyone else we have certain ways that we do things because that’s just what works best for my daughter.
Today after giving her a shower, we were doing our usual routine of changing her Trach, g-Tube care, getting dressed, and all that fun stuff. While I was changing her Trach, she was playing around, covering her stoma with her chin and blowing air out of it. We were laughing and being silly, then in a split second everything changed. She began to struggle to breath and coughing. After several tries, she coughed out a plug (mucus chunk that blocks the airway) larger than she has ever had in her entire life. In those moments, the smiles and laughter melted instantly. The silliness turned into shock. She recovered quickly and was back to her playful self within a few short minutes. I, however, was not. All of the fear and anxiety that use to haunt me in the beginning of this Trach journey came rushing back. I know that the circumstances could have been dramatically different. Although I never really thought we were completely “out of the woods” from the dangers of plugs and other issues that come with the Trach, it wasn’t something I worried about as much as I did in the beginning.i mean we have been living the Trach life for 10 years, we’ve got this... until that moment when you get hit with a ton of bricks that stop you in your tracks.
When something like this happens, after the shock wears off, you reflect back to those moments of struggle and fear. You think about the “what if’s” and the almosts. You think about what you could have done differently. You think about if you had done something different would the outcome have been good or bad. The hours and days after an episode like this can be pure torture for some parents. Yes, I am happy that my daughter is good, but that doesn’t stop my mind... my thoughts continue to go back to those few terrifying moments trying to analyze and break down each second, not to dwell on it... but instead to figure out what I can do better if this should happen again.
~Tonya
Founder
Moms of Trach Babies
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